There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
