...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
