he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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