i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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