So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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