Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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