So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
