Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Drunk is not a location!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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