Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
