How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
