I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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