So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
