He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
