I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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