That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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