I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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