3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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