You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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