I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
