yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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