Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
