On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
