just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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