chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
