Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize