uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
