so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Randomize
