so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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