Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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