Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
