I bet he comes in French.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I just googled if crying burns calories
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize