i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize