So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
