after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
