glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
But break dance skills will only take you so far
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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