He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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