I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
