hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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