it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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