No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
