The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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