It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i just had sex bonerless
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
