I hope mine doesn't look like that
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
