Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You are the jesus of drinking
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
