Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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