Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
