evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
worst night to have a conscience
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
