Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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