Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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