Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
