at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
