I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
