how can u be prego again
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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