If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Randomize
