I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i barfeds in our rink
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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