Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
