Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
