is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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