I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Randomize
