very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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