Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
